bowling for grilled cheese.

Carolyn has a better story:

Let me tell you about what it's like ordering a grilled cheese sandwich at the bowling alley.

When I was in a league, and on a team with 4 other meat-loving men (literally, not figuratively or metaphorically), they used to tease me because pretty much the only thing I could really get on the menu, as a non-militant vegetarian, was a grilled cheese sandwich. One Wednesday, during play, I bit into my sandwich to find out it had a slice of ham in it. They had made me a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. This was annoying, but it helped me to prove an entirely separate point - for the past month, I had been having trouble at Dunkin' Donuts, where they had a 50% rate of error with my Egg and Cheese on a Bagel Sandwich. 50% of the time, I'd get back to the office, and there'd be some kind of meat on it, either ham, bacon, or sausage. Apparently, Egg & Cheese (without any meat), though it is on the menu at Dunkin Donuts, was rarely ordered without meat. Included in the 50% of the time they actaully got it correct were the times they stopped in the middle of assembling the sandwich to shout, "What kind of meat did you want on this? Was it ham?" The last time I went there (for a long time), I got back to the office and had 3 huge pieces of ham on my sandwich, 2 more than the standard allotted amount. The guys and I figured that the sandwich-maker must have gotten back to the counter, started to make my sandwich, and was too embarrassed that he'd "forgotten" what kind of meat I wanted, so he just put 3 huge pieces on and figured I'd be happy because I got a lot of meat, even if it was the wrong kind. To support this, Doug from work pointed out that if he had order Bacon-Egg-and-Cheese and instead got 3-huge-pieces-of-ham-egg-and-cheese, he'd be psyched.

So back to the bowling alley - I had just sworn of Dunkin Donuts for breakfast, and now, suddenly, it was happening to me at the bowling alley, which had been safely providing me with meat-free grilled cheese sandwiches for over a year. The next week, I went up to the counter to order my grilled cheese, and was prepared to watch them assemble the sandwich before it went on the grill to be sure. I was not prepared for this conversation:

Me: Could I get a grilled cheese sandwich?
Her: Sorry - we're out of grilled cheese sandwiches.

(? - I see cheese burgers lined up by the grill)

Me: You're out of cheese?
Her: No, we're out of ham.
Me: Oh, well I just want a grilled cheese sandwich.
Her: Without any ham? (she is alarmed)
Me: Yes - no ham.
Her: Ooooo-kayy.

About 30 minutes later, my teammates gesture to the snack bar white board, where the woman had written this announcement shortly after giving me my meal.

"No grilled cheese sandwiches today.
We're out of ham."

-Carolyn