how to get an eyebrow wax.

(with apology and thanks to to catholic.org.)

1. The Aesthetician will often begin with the Sign of the Cross or a greeting and blessing.

2. The Hairy Customer begins by saying “Bless me Aesthetician for I have sinned, it has been ____ (number of days, weeks, months, etc.) since my last waxing. These are my eyebrows”.

3. Confess all mortal pluckings committed since your last waxing by kind and number (this is important). Hold NOTHING back. You may also confess any shaving or trimming.

4. At the end of your confession say these or similar words: “For these and all the beauty mistakes of my life I am sorry.” By this you tell the Aesthetician that you are finished. Otherwise, she might think you are still thinking or even trying to summon the courage to tell her "the big one".

5. The Aesthetician may ask questions for clarification or give you some counsel on a point from your confession. Answer briefly.

6. The Aesthetician will suggest an eyebrow shape. Listen carefully and remember it. You can refuse an eyebrow shape if it is too vague or impossible to do in a reasonable time.

7. The Hairy Customer makes an act of contrition in these or similar words: O my Aesthetician, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all of my extraneous facial hair because of Thy just punishments. But most of all because they offend Thee my Aesthetician, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to shave no more, and to avoid the near occasions of overplucking. Amen. Memorize a good act of contrition.

8. The Aesthetician will apply hot wax and fabric strips to your forehead, and then rip them away thusly. (The words necessary in English for forgiveness are “I absolve you from your brows in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit”). Do not leave until the Aesthetician has given you an application of a soothing skin balm. She will not refuse you this salve unless it is clear that you are not sorry for your brows or you have no intention of amending their shape.