heaterrific.

How do you beat the heat? Here are some ideas that have been working for me...

1. Movies. We've seen Minority Report and Lilo and Stitch. I would recommend Lilo and Stitch, but at a paltry 85 minutes, you're really better off with Tom Cruise (144 min). Some have claimed that the lengthy Minority Report is "muted" or "diluted". But at nearly twice the length, I call it air-conditioned goodness. You may even wish to consider bringing a sweater.

2. Gym. It's over 90° here again today. There is something called an ozone alert, which as far as I can tell means go inside and turn on your air conditioner, and don't come out until September. It doesn't mean you're more likely to get a sunburn (although I am), it means you'll be breathing ozone and then dying sooner. So my real bike stays shoved up against the wall downstairs with the front wheel removed, and I trek up to the gym in Scarsdale to ride the recumbant. An added bonus is showering in the air-conditioned locker room.

3. Showers. I'm averaging 7 or 8 per day. In fact I've gotten up twice to shower while typing this. While I lived at Knot Square (my 180-year old house with no A/C), I patented the ultra-refreshing Nox-shower, wherein the entire body is left cooled by the tingling power of Noxema. If you're really serious, you'll dust yourself with Gold Bond medicated powder when you're finished. Lately I'm in the shower so much, that I frequently don't, er, have the shower all to myself. Use extreme caution in this situation. Showering with a guest will diminish the shower's cooling effect.